


i dare you (to let me be your one and only)

by babblesmarie



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, Mentioned Parent Death, Mild Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parental illness, excessive mentions of The Office and Parks and Rec, holster and april are bffls, march and april don't show up until the second part, the niagara fic, the one where holster and ransom wait to get together until after graduation, there's more smut in the other parts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-10 18:47:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7856950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babblesmarie/pseuds/babblesmarie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We don't have to do the relationship thing, not if you don't want to.” Holster said.</p><p>“The thing is I do want to it's just, you're kind of like my literal soulmate and that's a little too—“</p><p>“Intense?”</p><p>Ransom huffed out a laugh. “See this is what I mean. It's like we've—”</p><p>“Known each other forever?” Holster suggested.</p><p>“Exactly.”</p><p>Holster pulled his thinking face which looked so eerily similar to Zoolander's trademarked Blue Steel that it took everything Ransom had not to laugh. “How about we draw up like, a contract?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. and if you want me, too

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Freudianity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freudianity/gifts).



> Hey y'all! I wanted to wait to post this until I had a complete rough draft of the second chapter so the updating process would be quicker than I usually take but I just got hit with some major Holsom feels the last two days. This is mostly edited but I know for a fact there are some things I missed it's just that every time I go back to edit it again I can't,,,,, find the mistakes.
> 
> The fic title comes from Adele's "One And Only", the chapter title comes from One Direction's "Kiss You."
> 
> I do not own Check, Please! or any of it's characters.
> 
> The original prompt comes from [samwellgotyourback](https://www.samwellgotyourback.tumblr.com) on tumblr, thank you so much for giving me permission to write this! It's a little different than the prompt, however.
> 
> If there are any inaccuracies feel free to let me know! I can only write from personal experience and what I can scrounge up through research.

Adam Birkholtz had always known he was into guys. There was no ah-ha! moment, no real coming out scene, either. He told his sister when he lost his virginity in juniors and his mother when his first boyfriend broke up with him. Never, however, had Adam been so victimized by his bisexuality as he was when his new defense partner had drunkenly pulled him onto the dance floor.

There was no point in denying that Justin Oluransi was the most stunning guy Adam had ever seen with his heaven bestowed cheekbones and giddy smile, and now there was no denying that he wanted to put his tongue on every part of Justin's body.

The d-men had been nearly attached at the hip since they met, relying on each other to navigate the hell that was freshman year. Within the first month of knowing each other Adam had been introduced via Skype to Justin's mother, sisters, and several aunts. In turn he told his own family about Justin in depth, risking an obscene amount of chirping from his older sisters. He might have gone overboard on the description of his friend's eyelashes, but that was perfectly normal. Justin's eyelashes simply deserved their own half hour phone call.

The ease in which Adam was convinced to dance in a crowd full of people despite his misanthropic tendencies was telling enough about how comfortable he was with Justin. He found himself thinking that he could jump off a cliff with zero hesitation if Justin did it with him.

“As a fellow d-man it is your sacred duty to get me laid,” Justin said in Adam's ear, breathless from exertion. Adam let his hands brush Justin's hips as they danced, jostled together by frenetic partygoers.

“What's your type?” Adam asked. _Please be tall, blonde, and me,_ he thought.

Justin dragged him closer by the collar of his t-shirt. “I don't have one.”

“Come on, bro. Give me something to work with.”

Justin rolled his eyes. “I am literally giving you the widest parameters, bro. A dog could find me someone with that pool of possibilities.”

The only people Adam had bonded with were the guys on the team and a few other lost and confused freshman, so despite Justin's parameters the pickings were slim. Adam tried girls from the volleyball team, the tennis team, and even a few edgy art majors that gave him the stink-eye as he approached. After an hour of awkward small talk Adam gave up.

“I am officially the worst wingman in the history of wingmen. Girls can be wingmen too, though. Wingwomen? No, wingpeople.”

Adam might have had too much to drink. He slumped down onto the couch between Justin and a passionate pair of girls getting a little too into their make out session. He sat so close to Justin he might as well be in his lap. To give the girls space, of course.

“You're the perfect wingperson,” Justin slurred, unfazed by Adam's proximity. “Don't let anyone tell you any different.”

The party started to die down and Shitty and Jack said they were more than welcome to crash at the Haus if they needed to. Justin had a test in the morning, though, and asked Adam to walk him back to the dorms. Even if he wanted to Adam wouldn't have said no.

“Our first official college kegster and neither of us got any action,” Justin said. “This better not be the beginning of a streak.”

Adam shrugged, his arms bumping into Justin's as they attempted to stay on the sidewalk. “I didn't really mind,” he said. It was the truth. It wasn't that he didn't want to, but he wasn't a fan of most people sober, let alone drunk and handsy. His friends were a different story. _Justin_ was a different story.

“I mean,” Justin continued. “I didn't even get kissed.”

“Relax bro. If you're so upset about it I'll kiss you.” Adam meant it mostly as a joke but Justin's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Bro,” Justin sounded touched. “You would do that for me?”

“Yeah, man. If you wanted.”

“Okay. Kiss me, then.”

“Right here in the middle of the quad?”

Justin smirked. “Unless you're chicken.”

The resulting kiss was sloppy and sudden, causing Justin to lose his balance. Adam grabbed his cheeks to draw him forward as Justin reached out to steady himself on Adam's wrists. Their teeth clacked loudly and they pulled away, laughing too hard for the kiss to be anything but awkward.

“That was terrible,” Justin said in between giggles.

Adam couldn't have that. When their laughter subsided he tilted Justin's face up, hands still on his cheeks. He leaned down slightly to place a sweeter, chaste kiss to Justin's lips. He meant to pull away but Justin tangled his fingers in Adam's hair and tugged.

Adam was firmly—nearly excruciatingly—aware of what was happening. Neither boy hesitated in deepening the kiss nor in diving back in once they parted for air. Justin felt good under Adam's hands, warm and alive and eager.

It didn't feel wrong, kissing Justin. Back in juniors Adam had hooked up with a couple guys and it had almost wrecked their performance on the ice due as well as their friendship. When Adam pulled away, though, Justin just grinned.

“Damn, bro. You sure don't pull any punches.”

Adam laughed and slung an arm around Justin's shoulders. “C'mon, buddy. Let's get you back to your dorm.”

* * *

Winter brought an end to many things, including “Justin” and “Adam.” They were officially _Ransom_ and _Holster_ and _Rans_ and _Holtzy._ It took Ransom longer than he'd like to admit to understand that when his mother asked about Adam she was talking about Holster.

“He's good, yeah. Should be coming over any second, actually.”

Ransom hated lying to his mom, but Holster had been closed off lately. He still stopped by Ransom's dorm to play video games and hang out but he never said much. It wasn't the kiss. When Ransom asked Holster denied it and Rans believed him. The two of them hadn't been weird, but something had been off about Holster and Ransom couldn't figure out what. According to Excel everything ought to be fine.

Ransom was still talking to his mother when Holster burst through the door, loud as ever.

“Hey man check out this pie thing Johnson made. It's basically just potatoes, eggs, and sriracha in a pie crust but he said—Oh, Mrs Oluransi. _Ça va?_ ”

Ransom's mom laughed. “ _Ça va bien, merci. Et toi?_ ”

Ransom didn't know why Holster had been practicing French but the giddy smile on his mother's face and the warm laugh reverberating in his chest when Holster climbed into his lap was enough to satisfy any curiosity.

“I'm doing okay,” Holster said,winding an arm around Ransom's shoulders. “Almost done with midterms.”

“Any plans for the holidays? Hanukkah ended quite some time ago but surely you have some fun things planned. I bet your sisters can't wait to see you.”

Every muscle in Holster's body tensed. “I'm actually staying on campus this year,” he said. “My pop just got out of the hospital and me going home would just upset the balance of things, you know?”

Ransom was shocked. So, apparently, was his mother because the next words out of her mouth were: “Why didn't didn't you tell me, Adam? I could have booked your flight at the same time as Justin's.”

“Mrs Oluransi—“

“I'll see if there are still seats on Justin's flight but if not I can get you on the one after that.”

Holster sighed. “Mrs Olur—“

“No. I'm not letting you spend the holidays alone with your potato and sriracha pie. Unless you don't want to come, that is.”

“No! I—I'd love to come but you don't have to do this for me. Really, I don't want to intrude.”

“You're the best friend Justin has ever had and the girls want to meet you. You already know I love you like my own blood. You're family and family is incapable of intruding.”

Ransom snorted. “Tell that to Auntie May,” he mumbled entirely to himself. His mother and Holster seemed to have temporarily forgotten he was in the room.

“If you're sure—“

“Of course I'm sure. I'll email you the ticket when I'm done. Right now I should go tell the others you're coming.”

“Love you,” Justin said.

“And I love you _both_.” A pointed look at Holster was the last thing the boys saw before the Skype window closed.

Holster didn't move from Ransom's lap and Ransom didn't have the heart to tell the taller boy that his thighs were going numb. A few more minutes wouldn't cut off his circulation. Holster was quiet for a long time, one arm around Ransom's shoulders, staring into space. Eventually he asked, voice flat, “Are you okay with me joining you guys?”

“Bro,” Ransom said, bewildered. “Of fucking course! It's like a dream come true. Canada and my family and you, what more could a guy want?”

Holster laughed and it raised Ransom's spirits just a little. “Just checking,” he said.

Ransom wasn't quite sure how to bring up the elephant in the room so he just opened his mouth and crossed his fingers. “You never told me about your dad. You okay?”

The small smile that had been on Holster's face slipped away. He moved from Ransom's lap, only taking a few steps before collapsing on the bed. He gathered all the blankets around his shoulders and pulled his laptop out of his bag. “It's complicated,” he said. “I'll tell you about it later, I promise. Can we just—can we just watch Netflix and eat this God forsaken pie thing?”

Ransom nodded and climbed in beside Holster. He still had some studying to do but for Holster he could take a break for an hour or two. He scooted back to the wall, connected to Holster from their shoulders to their ankles.

Ransom didn't want to think about Holster not going home for Hanukkah or Christmas or New Years, he didn't want to think about Holster planning on staying in his too small dorm for two weeks. He didn't want to think about large and loud Holster looking like a kicked puppy.

“What were you saying earlier?” Ransom asked, soft and neutral. “About Johnson?”

“Oh yeah. He said something about the pie being essentially useless to the narrative but it would serve as a funny anecdote next year. Whatever that means.”

“Damn, midterms did a number on that guy.”

“For sure,” Holster said. “And thanks.” He sounded the same as always if a little more tired. It was harder to miss the deeper cut of his frown though, once Ransom knew to look for it.

“For?”

“Just chilling. I know you're itching to study but I kind of needed this today.”

Ransom wrapped an arm around Holster's waist and pulled him impossibly closer by the hip. “Hey, man. We're drift compatible, alright? You and me 'til the end of the line, you've got a friend in me. You're the Ron Swanson to my Leslie Knope. I can tell when you need a cuddle, bro.”

Holster dropped his head to Ransom's shoulder. “Why do you get to be Leslie, again?” he asked.

“Because,” Ransom said. “I'm the bubbly people person and you're the grumpy asshole.”

“Hey, I'm a people person,” Holster said, faux offended.

Ransom snorted. “You say “I hate everyone” sixteen times a day and glare at anyone who tries to talk to you before three in the afternoon.”

Holster hummed. “I'd be Ben, I think,” he said after a while. “He's a little bit of an asshole but he's also nerdy and sweet.”

“Okay, then. It's settled, you're the Ben to my Leslie.”

Ransom didn't acknowledge the way his heart skipped a beat at what that implied but it was much harder to ignore the barely-there kiss that Holster placed on his shoulder before pressing play on _The Office._

“Was that weird?” Holster asked before Michael Scott had the chance to say something stupidly offensive.

“Nah, bro. It wasn't.” And if Ransom was being truthful, it really wasn't. Sure his stomach currently happened to be a butterfly habitat but it just seemed natural. It seemed perfectly normal for Holster to kiss and cuddle him. It didn't even freak Ransom out when he came to the realization that he _wanted_ Holster to do it.

Holster nodded and relaxed into Ransom's side. If after Holster fell asleep Ransom dragged his books and papers onto the bed so he could prolong the cuddle session, well. No one but him, Holster, and the four walls of the room needed to know.

* * *

Christmas with the Oluransis was simultaneously vastly different than and blissfully similar to any holiday Holster had known. He grew up in a large family much like the Oluransis; loud and colorful and affectionate. Everyone in Toronto switched between three different languages and something was always cooking. Starting three days before Christmas Holster had been asked to taste several different dishes ranging from typical roast chicken and casseroles to jollof rice and banga soup. Mrs O had even asked for Holster's mother's latke recipe to make him feel more at home.

Holster hoped he was being a decent guest but his mind wandered elsewhere after he had been patched into a call with his mother and his father's doctor. The chemo treatments had stopped working, the doctor said.

“ _Frankly, your father will be lucky to make it another year.”_

Samantha, Tara, and Margaret—Holster's older sisters—had been texting him non-stop since the call. It was some sort of rule of the family that when something bad happened all three of them would rally together in a group chat to keep Holster occupied. The last time it happened was when the family dog had to be put down while he was away with a billet family.

Their texts were a constant reminder, though, and Holster turned his phone on silent for the rest of the day.It was clear that Ransom had noticed the change in Holster's mood. He didn't say anything outright but let his worry show in the crease of his eyebrows and the lingering touches to Holster's shoulder.

Dinner was eventful. Despite the number of people at the table taking up Ransom's time, Holster didn't have to look far for conversation. Mr Oluransi asked about how he was settling in at college, Auntie Cassie showed him several pictures of her twins who had just started learning to walk, and The Girls—Althea, Ife, and Dami—asked if any of the other guys on the team were as cute as him. Holster talked back with surprisingly genuine smile. _Just fine, oh how precious, no one is as cute as me._

“I'm not saying I'm cuter than you, Holtzy, but you and I are at least even,” Ransom interrupted.

Holster turned his grin on Ransom. “You excluded, obviously. I don't think your sisters want to hear about how cute I think you are.”

The girls all pretended to gag in sync but Ransom beamed from across the table. They had attracted the attention of a few of the aunts as well as Ransom's dad so they just shrugged.

After dinner came the prolonged goodbye session. Holster gone through at least five rounds of goodbyes with each of the departing relatives. The only people who stayed were a handful of aunts and the girls. Althea had her own place but opted to stay for a night of wine and board games.

The vote for Risk over Monopoly ended up being unanimous. Everyone needed to split into teams because so many people wanted to play and Holster called dibs on Ransom so loudly and enthusiastically that no one fought him on it. Althea met his eyes and wiggled her eyebrows. She reminded Holster so much of his oldest sister Samantha in the way she had teased him about his grandpa vest and ruffled his hair when he pretended to pout. For a moment it was almost like being back home where all three of his sisters took turns chirping and coddling him.

In that moment Holster was immensely grateful for Auntie Cassie's heavy handed pouring. Too many glasses of an expensive red wine with a name Holster didn't even want to try saying left him warm pressed against Ransom's side for most of the game. Another glass and a half had him singing along to the radio for everyone to hear. Ransom poured the remains Holster's wine into his own glass after that and moved the bottle far from reach.

Holster shrugged as best he could with one arm around Ransom and the other cuddling a random cat to his chest. Where the cat had come from Holster didn't know but no one else seemed alarmed by its sudden appearance so gave it a few brief head pats before in climbed into his lap and dug it's claws through the fabric of his jeans. He sat back and let Ransom make terrible world domination decisions by himself for the most part. He didn't even notice when Althea and Auntie Cassie won and started a stunningly choreographed winner's dance that Holster wanted to ask about before he left.

Ransom tugged on his arm. “This is our cue,” he said.

Holster relinquished his feline friend and followed Ransom as he led the way to the bedroom. They had been sharing for the past couple days so Holster had zero qualms about falling onto the bed without waiting to pull the blankets aside.

Ransom undressed slowly in the background. He made sure his clothes fell into the laundry basket when he threw them and even peeled off his socks before he crawled onto the bed beside Holster. Ransom poked at his eyebrows and his cheekbones.

“You okay, bro?”

Holster mumbled out a, _just tired._ He didn't like the way it rolled off his tongue. He didn't like the concerned curve of Ransom's mouth. “My dad's only going to get worse,” he said, and the taste of that was so much more bitter than the lie.

There was more that Holster couldn't say. _Your family is nice but I miss my sisters. Ma must feel so alone with all of her kids grown and only Samantha still in town. Pop must be so scared._

“I'm sorry, Adam.”

That was a new first. Holster hadn't been _Adam_ in months but the moment he stepped foot in Toronto it was like _Holster_ and _Ransom_ melted away.

“I knew it was a possibility,” Holster said. Ransom pulled at his arms to get him into a sitting position so he could work on getting his clothes off. It wasn't anything but practical, Holster hated sleeping in his clothes. Ransom worked the tie from around his neck and started on the horrible vest over his dress shirt.

“He wont get to see me graduate college.”

Ransom held Holster's gaze when he'd allow it. Holster had been keeping everything in for so long that it all came tumbling out. Ransom cupped Holster's face in his hands. He didn't say anything but he didn't need to. Holster could read his face better than his favorite novel. The worry, the support, the love.

Holster didn't say anything but he didn't need to. He leaned forward, slow enough for Ransom to pull away, fast enough for his brain to have failed to find a reason why he shouldn't.

On Holster's part the kiss was frantic. He held onto Ransom's wrists and his glasses fogged. Ransom kept it slow, though. Steady. Reassuring. When he pulled away he took Holster's glasses with him and wiped the tears clustering in his eyelashes.

“Justin—“

Ransom shushed him. “It's freezing. Let's get under the blankets, yeah?”

Holster nodded. This is where Ransom would tell him that he'd crossed a line. He'd blame it on the wine if he had to. His worry withered and died in his chest two seconds later when Ransom curled up against his back and nuzzled the into his neck.

“Go to sleep, Adam,” Ransom whispered. “We'll talk in the morning.”

Holster didn't know if Ransom meant about his father or the kiss or the crying but he hadn't left. Ransom hadn't left and in the morning Holster would have a hangover and the world would still be a shitty place, but Ransom hadn't left and that was something he could hold onto.

* * *

It wasn't until New Year's Eve that Ransom and Holster had the opportunity to talk. They stopped at the falls and just barely got a hotel room. The drive had only taken a little over an hour and a half so Ransom voted on staying in to catch up on sleep before they had to drive out the day after the next.

The hotel room only had one bed but Ransom didn't see it as a problem. He had been sharing a bed with Holster for nearly two weeks. With the way Holster clung to Ransom in his sleep, Ransom figured he wouldn't have an issue with the arrangement either.

Holster curled up on the bed and drifted in and out of sleep while Ransom pulled out his laptop to get a head start on the new semester's syllabus. Holster insisted he run Netflix in the background so the only sounds in the room were Ransom's typing, Holster's snoring, and _The Office_.

Ransom set up shop at the desk but every so often he found himself glancing at Holster. The Christmas kiss played itself on a loop in Ransom's brain. Sure, Holster had been drunk and emotional, but the next morning they'd kissed again. Several times. Languid and saccharine and Holster hadn't opened his eyes once because of his hangover

They didn't talk about it, not really. They didn't kiss outside of the bedroom but they'd shared an armchair and a cup of coffee in the morning and generally hadn't left each others sides. They kissed again at the gas station and then before Holster fell face first into the pillows for a nap.

Ransom was no stranger to kissing but surely it shouldn't feel so wholesome, so completing. Every time he kissed Holster he felt like he was on top of the world. It was definitely something he needed to address.

There were three main points of Ransom's realization. One, he like-liked Holster. Two, Holster probably like-liked him. Three, “like-like” was by far the largest understatement Ransom ever heard. It would have to do, though, because Ransom was nineteen and had three and a half years to dwell on feelings and other things.

The kisses didn't have to mean anything but Ransom wanted them to, he just wasn't sure he wanted them to mean something _immediately._ It wasn't that Ransom was scared to commit or that he wanted to play the field, but he was scared that it was too much too soon. There was so much room to mess up something so right.

Holster woke up bleary-eyed around six in the afternoon. Ransom watched as he stretched like a cat and wrapped the comforter around his shoulders before padding over to where Ransom sat.

“Really, Rans? Homework?”

“I've got a GPA to maintain bro.”

Holster snorted. “Workaholic. I'm going to hop in the shower. Did you want to go anywhere tonight or is it cool if we order pizza and like, watch fireworks from the balcony?”

Ransom took the opportunity to stretch and winced at the sound his popping bones made. New Years Eve in Niagara was bound to be hectic. “I kind of want to stay in if you're up for it.”

“Yeah, that's fine.”

It took Ransom a while to find a pizza place still open on New Year's Eve but when he found one he ordered the usual. Extra pepperoni, extra sauce. When it arrived Holster got out of the shower and tipped the pizza guy with nothing but a towel on.

Ransom tried not to watch as Holster changed into a pair of loose sweatpants, he really did. He caught a glimpse of toned muscle and faded stretch marks out of the corner of his eye, though. He was only human and it wasn't like they didn't see each other naked on a regular basis.

Holster hooked his phone up to his portable speaker and danced to Fergie with a pizza slice in his mouth. It should have been weird but Ransom found it oddly tantalizing. It wasn't even a particularly sexy dance except for the part where Holster was shirtless and most definitely not wearing any underwear. It ended in a dramatic twirl that had him falling back onto the bed, face pressed into Ransom's thigh.

“Holtzy?” Ransom asked. He wiped his hands on the sheets behind him.

Holster looked up. “Yeah bro?” By the way he was squinting he had forgone both his glasses and contacts for the night. His hand rested at the crease of Ransom's knee.

Ransom had never been a man of tact. “I'm totally cool with it, but what's all this kissing business?”

“Sorry, man. I shouldn't have pushed it. I just kind of have this thing for you and you didn't say anything about it so.” Holster looked down but didn't move. He let his sentence trail off.

That was definitely what Ransom wanted to hear. He grinned.“Really?”

“Yeah, dude. You're like, crazy hot.”

Holster sported his own shy smile, clearly confused by Ransom's reaction but comfortable enough with it to stay.

“Just hot?” Ransom asked.

“Well you're funny and hardworking and literally perfect, but mostly hot, yeah.”

Ransom laughed and Holster's smile became less shy and a little more cocky.

“I kind of have a thing for you too, you know.”

Holster squinted a little harder. It was ridiculously endearing. “No way.”

“Yes way. There's just something about a guy big and strong enough to manhandle me.”

“So you have a thing for my white hot sexual prowess?”

Ransom shrugged. “Amongst other things.”

They said nothing, just squinted at each other. Holster grinned. “So where is this going?” he asked. “ _Is_ it going anywhere?”

Ransom chose his words carefully. Holster sounded so hopeful and Ransom had seen enough of his sad face in the past couple of weeks for six lifetimes. “Well, we have our entire college experience in front of us.”

“We don't have to do the relationship thing, not if you don't want to.” Holster said.

“The thing is I _do_ want to it's just, you're kind of like my literal soulmate and that's a little too—“

“Intense?”

Ransom huffed out a laugh. “See this is what I mean. It's like we've—”

“Known each other forever?” Holster suggested.

“Exactly.”

Holster pulled his thinking face which looked so eerily similar to Zoolander's trademarked Blue Steel that it took everything Ransom had not to laugh. “How about we draw up like, a contract?”

Ransom tilted his head. “Elaborate.”

“We wait until graduation—don't make that noise—we wait until graduation, _with_ the exception of Niagara.”

“Like, what? Niagara is the only place we can get together?”

“Kind of,” Holster said, getting excited. He pushed himself up onto his knees. “We can visit in the summer and maybe over the winter holidays. Like even when I go home next year we could meet up here and drive back together.”

“And we could like, renew the contract each time we're here. Go over whether or not we're still into each other, whether or not we don't think waiting is a good idea.”

“Yeah,” Holster said. “But I think if one of us knows that it's not working out we should be able to tell each other whether or not we're in Niagara so we don't like, get our hopes up.”

“Obviously, yeah.”

Holster's eyes glinted. “So does that mean we have the rest of today and tomorrow to get a start on this thing?”

“Only if you want to.”

Holster's response was to kick the pizza boxes off the bed and crawl into Ransom's personal space. “Is this okay?” he asked.

Ransom nodded, sliding his arms around Holster's waist. Surprisingly the following kiss was full of heat and passion. It was so unlike their other kisses, drunk or comforting or slow. It was filled to the brim with pure intent. Holster hovered over Ransom's lap, just shy of straddling him. His weight was grounding, like a snug winter coat. Ransom pulled him down all the way and giggled at his soft gasp.

Holster kissed firmly, like every press of his lips had to mean something. Ransom had no idea _what_ exactly it was supposed to mean but he could guess when Holster's heavy hands mapped a path from his shoulder to his waist.

“Is this okay?” Holster asked.

Ransom wanted to laugh at Holster for asking so many times but he didn't. He understood how shocking it was that five minutes ago they were best friends who kissed sometimes and now they were—this. Ransom was not a small guy by any means but Holster just seemed to envelop him entirely. He was all Ransom could see and feel and smell and it was more than okay.

“Yeah,” Ransom said, breathless. “Is this?”

Ransom's own hands had a firm grip on the tops of Holster's thighs. He dug his fingers into the soft fabric of the sweatpants, his thumbs sweeping a pattern just shy of too close to Holster's crotch.

“Definitely.”

Ransom kissed the corner of Holster's mouth and across his jaw. He bit down just below his ear. Holster squirmed in his lap, rocking his hips into Ransom's hands.

“Good?” Ransom asked.

Holster nodded. One of his hands scratched up Ransom's back, a silent plea to continue.

Ransom kissed the spot he bit before sucking a dark red hickey over the bite mark. He did it again as he moved to Holster's throat, and again at his collar bone. They hadn't truly done anything yet but every scrape of Ransom's teeth and soothing apology of his tongue had Holster making the sweetest noises in the back of his throat.

Gently, Ransom pushed Holster back until he was upside down on the bed.

“Shit, Rans. You look so good like that.”

Ransom laughed. “Oh you should see yourself, pornstar.” He really did make for a pretty picture with a bruised neck and bare chest, splayed out all carelessly.

Holster blushed but his hands tugged insistently at Ransom's legs. “Get back over here.”

Ransom obliged. He lowered himself into the cradle of Holster's thighs and put all of his weight into his forearms. He kissed teasingly for a moment before continuing downwards. On the other side of Holster's neck he left identically placed hickies. From there it was sloppy open-mouthed kisses and wandering hands. Ransom bit and licked his way back up Holster's chest for sweeter kisses to his jaw and cheekbones and nose.

Holster cupped Ransom's face with one hand, bringing their lips together. Ransom rocked down into Holster's hips but it was Holster who moaned and used his free hand to hold Ransom in place.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Rans?”

There was the barest hint of vulnerability to Holster's voice. If for some reason their plan didn't work it would crush him. Ransom knew, because it'd crush him too. They hopped over a bold line in the sand and there was no going back. Even if they stopped Ransom would know what it felt like to be held and savored and longed for by Holster. It was a feeling he didn't think he could ever stop craving.

Ransom kissed Holster again. He kept it slow and steady despite the frantic energy in his bones. He wanted it. He wanted Holster's hands on him forever, he wanted the tangy taste of marinara sauce and toothpaste, he wanted that excited smile and squinted eyes.

Maybe he wanted it too much, but he had time to figure it out.

 

 

 


	2. won't you stay 'till the A.M.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes they want to call the whole thing off. They'll get through it, though. They always do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title comes from A.M. by One Direction.
> 
> I'm not Ngozi, I don't own Check Please or its character.
> 
> This chapter gets a little angsty, I'm sorry to say. Holster's dad dies though it is entirely off screen. If you'd like to just not read it it's one of the last scene breaks that starts with _One week ago_ to the end of the fic. If that's something you can't handle you can come to me on tumblr, links in the end notes, and I'll tell you about what happens.
> 
> I'm not sure how well this flows and I debated chopping it up into different chapters but I didn't.

Going back to Samwell after Niagara wasn't necessarily weird but it _was_ a bit of a challenge—what with the lingering bite marks and bruises on Holster's neck and chest. He smiled to himself, thoughts drifting toward the two nights in Niagara where he and Ransom hardly left the bed. The team chirped him about it for days and pressed him for details. _Did you hook up with a vampire? Is it anyone we know? Breaking hearts back in Buffalo, Birkholtz?_

When Ransom caught wind of the chirping the only indication that something had happened between him and Holster was a sly wink. They were still Holster and Ransom and the agreement had been crafted to fit their friendship. They were particularly affectionate before and they liked it that way. Cuddles and hugs and _a beautiful goal for my beautiful bro_ made up at least half of their interactions with each other, same as always. It was because of their feelings, not despite them, that nothing had to change.

The easy peace lasted until February. Valentine's Day was on the horizon and Ransom had been asked out by four different people, each more attractive and eager than the last. Holster had, too, but he'd already made plans with Lardo.

“ _That's still okay, right?”_ Ransom had asked when he accepted the last girl's invitation to her party. She had been cute and perky and in Ransom's Human Anatomy lab. Maritza.

“ _Yeah, man. Lards and I were just going to watch old horror flicks and order pizza in my dorm.”_

“ _But like, you're okay with me having sex with her?”_

It was the most direct they had been since New Year's Day. Holster really didn't mind. He knew Maritza through Ransom and they hardly ever talked but she bought him a hot chocolate with a shot of espresso one day when he forgot his wallet. She wrote her number on a napkin for him before he left and they'd kept up a casual correspondence. They usually only talked about how much class sucked and how good Ransom was at everything.

“ _Yeah, bro. Maritza's hella sweet.”_

Ransom didn't need Holster's permission but it was nice to have the casual assurance that despite not talking about it for a while the two of them were still on the same page.

Holster and Lardo had invited Jack and Shitty to their movie marathon but they canceled last minute, leaving the two of them to demolish two boxes of pizza and a case of Redbull on their own. They cringed their way through _Zombeavers_ and _Wolfcop_ before settling on the slightly more bearable _The Legend of the Hell House._

Holster liked spending time with Lardo. She didn't talk as much as he did but that could be said about mostly everyone. She was content to listen to his semi-stoned theories and contribute fantastically devastating one-liners that had the both of them clutching their stomachs with tears of laughter in their eyes. Lardo was everything Holster wanted his sisters to be when he was growing up. Someone to tease him and ride on his shoulders and burp in his face. He had grown up with all of his sisters being at least four years older than him so it was like he had four moms rather than siblings and while he loved them all to death it wasn't quite the same.

Halfway through the movie Holster got a string of texts from Maritza. They didn't talk much and they never texted but there were so many and she was supposed to be with Ransom, so Holster didn't want to risk not replying in case something had happened.

_you're invited to the party, too, ya know_

_public /and/ private_

_justin says he doesn't mind ;)_

_[image attached]_

Wary, Holster opened the attachment and promptly choked on his pizza crust. He didn't know what kind of karma had backfired on him, why the universe decided that this was the best course of action. The picture was dimly lit but Maritza and Ransom were clearly visible, entirely naked save for their strategically placed pillows.

Holster shielded his phone from Lardo as he tortured himself with a second look at the picture. It was taken from a high angle leaving exactly nothing to the imagination. Holster could see the shadowed outline of Ransom's thighs, his chest, the curve of his neck. Holster faltered at the confident, happy-go-lucky smile on his best friend's face.

_offer stands adam_

Before Holster could set his remaining pizza down and take a breath to evaluate the situation Ransom sent him a message himself.

_Maritza is srs if ur interested bro_

_Idk if this is crossing a line but we could figure it out_

_No presh but obv I'm down for it too :)_

The mere thought of Ransom's hands on him again had Holster giving Lardo his computer and apologizing profusely for ditching her. He left with a pinky swear to bring buy her a grape Gatorade as recompense.

Holster didn't think to grab a jacket so the mid-February air hitting his skin was an unwelcome surprise. He debated going back inside but his nerves were too jumbled. If he went back there was no way he was leaving his dorm again so he soldiered on.

The first mistake of many happened when Holster walked right past the drinks table and up the stairs. He'd shared a blunt with Lardo earlier but there was no way he was still high enough to play it cool. He wondered if the entire house could hear his heartbeat over the pounding of the music.

The second mistake was actually following through and knocking on Maritza's bedroom door.

Maritza opened the door wearing nothing at all and—without preamble—pressed herself flush against Holster's chest and gave him the dirtiest kiss of his life. He was mollified for all of two seconds before Ransom laughed from somewhere inside the room and set Holster's turning stomach on fire.

“Took you long enough,” Maritza said.

“Oh, well, you know. Traffic.”

Ransom laughed again and all it took was one tug for Holster to follow Maritza to the edge of the bed. Ransom was propped up on his elbows in the center of a massive pile of pillows, looking for all the world like he had no where better to be.

With one hand Maritza pushed Holster into a sitting position and then guided him all the way down until his head was in Ransom's lap. It would have been a sweet gestured if she didn't look at Holster like a piece of meat or if Ransom's dick wasn't caressing his cheek.

“Hey, pornstar,” Ransom said affectionately. It had become a nickname and an inside joke all at once. The other guys on the team picked it up when Holster refused to wear a scarf to cover his hickies but they didn't know that Ransom had called him that during sex only days earlier. If they had they surely wouldn't have taken so much joy in joining in. “Is this okay?”

Holster nodded. He knew Ransom didn't just mean about their current position but in general. _Is this still something you want to try?_ They hadn't ruled out threesomes by omission so they technically weren't violating their agreement but it felt like it, like they were doing something taboo.

“You're wearing too many clothes,” Maritza said.

“You could say our clothes to nudity ratio is unbalanced, yes.”

Maritza snorted and rolled her eyes. She moved until she was hovering over Holster's face, her dark hair casting a curtain between the three of them and the rest of the room. “You want any help with that?”

Holster nodded again but Maritza shook her head, dragging a soft finger down his cheek. “Gotta use your words, Adam.”

Whether it was the stern tone of Maritza's voice or the weight of the situation catching up to Adam that made his breath hitch didn't matter. “Yes, please,” he said.

That was the right thing to say because Maritza's eyes darkened and she grinned, slow and sultry. Holster didn't know quite where to look as she worked his jeans off with deft fingers. As if sensing his uncertainty, Ransom sat up and leaned forward. He tugged on Holster's hair and tilted his chin just enough to kiss him sweetly.

For a moment Holster was worried that Maritza would catch on to their feelings for each other and ask them questions but all she said was, _“Fuck.”_

Holster's pants had dropped to his ankles and his underwear was soon to follow. He felt a little weird still wearing his shoes and socks but that dissipated when Maritza cupped his dick with gentle fingers. “I don't know if you know this,” she said, “But your dick is unbelievable.”

What Holster had in mind when Maritza asked him to join her and Ransom was far different from what he ultimately got. _Porn really does give people unrealistic expectations of sex,_ Holster thought. Maritza had no problem working herself on a dildo while she teased Holster's dick and Ransom had been delegated the job of keeping Holster's hands above his head and kissing him.

Holster soon realized that what Maritza got off on was control. She gave the orders from the edge of the bed and Ransom and Holster were expected to follow them. It was the optimal situation in Holster's mind. He didn't like being in charge like that. What he _did_ like was laying on his back, the slight pull and burn of the muscles in his arms and legs as Ransom kept a firm grip on his wrists and Maritza held his thighs wide apart. She alternated between sucking his cock—taking it slow and deep—and working Holster's ass open with her tongue.

If the frantic moaning and mechanical buzzing were anything to go by Holster would assume that Maritza had already had the pleasure of climaxing more than once while he and Ransom strained under her guidance.

Maritza neglected Holster's dick in favor of seeing how far she could open him up. She was up to two fingers and her tongue when she ordered him to suck Ransom off.

“Until I say stop or until he taps out, you hear me?”

Holster was long beyond words. He turned his head in Ransom's lap, panting hard against the firm muscle of his thigh with every curl of Maritza's fingers. Ransom interlocked the fingers on his right hand with Holster's, leaving his left free to card through Holster's hair and stroke his cheekbones.

“You good?” Ransom asked. He hadn't stopped asking, making doubly sure that with every order Maritza gave Holster was okay. Maritza never questioned it.

Holster licked a stripe up Ransom's dick lieu of an answer. He kissed the tip before working his was down slowly. With Holster working earnestly it took no time at all to push Ransom over the edge. Ransom pet his cheek and his hair, babbling _so good_ and _keep going_ and _I'm gonna, I'm—Adam._

Holster worked through Ransom's orgasm. He wasn't able to swallow everything, mouth and chin painted white. Even with Ransom's dick softening in his mouth he kept going.

Ransom whined loudly and Maritza let Holster pull off after his panting turned into broken gasping. Completely spent, Ransom turned himself about he could lay on his stomach and rest his head on Holster's chest all while keeping a grip on his wrists. Maritza must have had all she could take too because she stood up, dripping all over Holster's thighs as she climbed on top of him to jerk him off sincerely.

Holster, as far gone as he was, didn't stand a chance. Within seconds his back arched off the bed, thighs shaking. He gasped and moaned through his high.

Maritza collapsed onto her side, face pressed into Ransom's calf. “That was hot,” she said.

Holster didn't have the ability to do much more than mumble, exhausted and comfortable with Ransom drawing lazy patterns on his chest. Ransom leaned forward with a tease of a kiss on his lips. One last time he asked, “Are you okay?”

Holster nodded. Despite being physically exhausted Holster couldn't fall asleep. Not even when Maritza and Ransom's breathing evened out. He didn't know what he was feeling, but he did know that he couldn't sit still for much longer. Slowly, he extracted himself from Ransom. He cradled his friend's head gently to the mattress and waited a moment, just to be sure he wouldn't wake up before letting himself brush his knuckles over Ransom's cheek.

Holster knew for a fact that it was Ransom's shirt he grabbed from the floor but he wore it anyway, a little snug on the shoulders and a little too short. Outside of the bedroom the party had ended so it was no trouble for Holster to sneak around empty beer cans and the occasional sleeping student to get to the front door.

The icy air was a welcome presence in Holster's lungs, it froze whatever feeling had resided in his chest and let him breathe clearly. He squared his shoulders and stepped off the porch. He started walking in the direction of the nearest Stop N Shop, actively thinking of nothing but grape Gatorade and stale nachos.

* * *

Threesomes were added to the list of Forbidden Romance and Sex Acts on February 15th.

When Ransom woke up without either Holster or Maritza by his side he knew that it would never happen again. Not because he didn't like it, but because there was a little nagging voice in his head that told him it shouldn't have happened in the first place. He pulled on Holster's purposefully forgotten t-shirt and tried to school his face into not giving away the fact that he had the kinkiest sex of his life the night before.

The Haus was cold and mostly deserted when Ransom arrived except for Holster and Lardo cleaning up the ever present mess so they had somewhere to sit while they ate breakfast. When Holster turned to greet Ransom his gaze lingered, a little fondly, on his too big shirt. “Sleep good, Rans?”

Ransom scoffed and attempted to wade through pizza boxes and Redbull cans to the coffee pot. Either someone had made a pot just recently or left the coffee from last night to burn but it was too early for Ransom to care which. By the time he'd secured a clean mug and a few sips of definitely burned coffee Lardo had disappeared.

Ransom peeked his head out of the kitchen to scan their surroundings before he cleared his throat. “Hey bro about last night—“

“I don't think we should do it again,” Holster said like he was rushing to get the words out of his mouth.

“I'm glad we're on the same page.”

“I don't know how to explain it really. I liked it, obviously, but I think if we keep abusing the loophole—.”

“We'll end up where we didn't want to end up in the first place, which defeats the purpose.”

Holster grinned, big and goofy and bright like he did every time he and Ransom were scarily in sync. Ransom gave himself a moment to think about how ridiculously in love he was with that smile before he set his coffee down and clapped his hands.

“So we cleaning this pig sty or what?”

* * *

Holster wasn't a jealous person, but he _was_ incredibly insecure. Over the year since he and Ransom had made their pact Holster had doubted whether or not it would work.

Thankfully the Niagara Clause existed. Over the summer and winter holidays there was a hotel room and a boat tour with their names on it. They spent days in bed and walking around holding hands and it always felt worth it. The wait, the jockstrap on the attic door, the hookups that never promised anything more than sex.

It was worth it because the sun shining down on the falls and the spray of mist against the hull of the boat formed a rainbow and Ransom's lips tasted like river water and sunshine.

It was worth it for the languid morning sex and the feeling of Ransom's heartbeat against his cheek.

It was worth it and that's what Holster repeated to himself when Ransom and March started dating. March was the first person outside of the two of them who knew about the plan. Holster was worried of what she might think but Ransom said she smiled and said it was okay with her. It had taken a weight off Holster's shoulders until Ransom started sleeping over at her place and had been invited to meet her parents.

The problem wasn't that Holster didn't want Ransom and March dating, but rather he didn't want them to fall in love. March was sweet and actually good friends with Holster but sometimes it was hard to look her in the eye knowing that she got to know Ransom the way he knew Ransom.

He talked about it with Ransom briefly and all he said was, “Holtzy, you have nothing to worry about.”

Ransom offered to stop seeing March but that would have been unfair. They had an agreement, a contract.

Instead of letting his insecurity get the best of him Holster spent his days venting to March's friend April. On night's like tonight when Ransom and March had a date they'd invite each other over for wine and popcorn. It was April's turn to host, meaning they were sitting at the kitchen table of April and March's campus apartment and playing an intense game of Jenga.

April had immediately taken Holster in under her wing when she found out about his situation, making her the third person to know.

“I'm just saying that you have the longer stick here,” April said, working a middle block out of its place. “You and Justin have a pact, March just straight up doesn't know how I feel.”

Holster had been sipping his wine with his pinky stuck out all night and wearing a silky blue robe that April had given to him a while back. He never brought it to the Haus but every night he spent at April's he broke it out. It barely covered his ass and his boxer shorts peeked out at the bottom. He loved it.

“I see your point but I'm constantly worried that I'm going to wake up one day and Justin will have changed his mind and I'll end up being the best man at their wedding.”

April rapped her knuckles on the wooden Jenga block for him instead if the table so as to not disturb the fragile tower. “I think Justin would say something if he even thought of it,” she said.

“I know he would but what if tomorrow is that day?”

Holster pulled a corner piece from the bottom of the tower. April frowned at him except it presented more like a drunken pout.

“It won't be. You and Justin are going to get married and raise a bunch of babies and be happy forever.” April slurred her words but Holster respectfully said nothing.

“You think?”

“Have you seen the way he looks at you sometimes?”

Holster saw alright. The slow morning smiles when they were alone, the lingering stares in the locker room, the adorable starstruck grin whenever Holster said something clever. It was hard to doubt himself in those instances, harder to keep his hands to himself.

“I'd be a stay-at-home dad,” Holster said, slightly off topic. It was a touch unfair and just a smidge indulgent.

“You'd fucking rock it. Like you'd have those little packs that the babies sit in and everything.”

“Thanks. Do you want kids?” Holster asked, because graduation was on the horizon and then they'd be real adults with houses and jobs and adults talked about babies. And marriage and—

“One,” April said. “It'll be the biggest spoiled brat ever and it will be entirely my fault.”

“I can see that.”

The tower collapsed with a tinkling crash that only wooden blocks and dominoes could manage. Talking about babies turned into talking about the abstract cruelty of child beauty pageants and that turned into a catwalk fashion show to Fergie. April was a decent dancer sober but drunk was another story. She just bopped in place for the most part.

It was at that moment, the lowest of the lows, at which March and Ransom opened the door. They had been in the middle of talking but stopped abruptly at the sight in front of them. March giggled an Ransom's eyes catalogued the devastatingly short hem of Holster's robe. It had risen even higher because even if Holster wasn't a lady he sure as hell was dancing like a hoe.

“What's going on?” March asked, grin blinding the whole room.

“Sleepover,” April said unhelpfully.

March looked over the room, taking in the wine glasses and the feather boa wrapped around April's neck. Holster had a matching one somewhere under the table that he felt the need to block from view.

“I wasn't expecting you to be home.”

“Well this is where I live, March.” April didn't sound as friendly as she did earlier. She had crossed her arms and glared her best at her friend, which really only made her look like a puppy.

“Hey,” Holster said, tugging April out of her showdown stance. “Hey if we go now we can make it to that Chinese place before it closes.”

“Don't worry about it, Adam. We'll just head to the Haus, right Justin?”

Ransom nodded, hooking his arm into March's.

“Good. See you tomorrow,” April said, practically shooing them out of the room. When the door closed behind them she stood there for a moment, staring at the door.

“Dude. Way to be harsh,” Holster said because there was nothing else to say.

April shrugged. Holster poured her another drink.

* * *

Ransom had no right to be upset, he knew that. Holster was allowed to sleep with whoever he wanted and for all the times he'd been sexiled due to March he deserved to get his fair share of usage in the attic. He blamed his feelings on the fact that it was a LAX bro Holster had pushed up against the wall. That was it.

Ransom's anxiety was primarily targeted towards tests and grades and potential successes but it made the occasional appearance in his personal life. Sometimes he got so revved up about one thing that it carried over.

It started about grades and classes, it really did. The end of junior year was coming up which meant he needed to start thinking about med school applications and in order to even consider med school applications he needed to be on top of his grades. Which he was, usually, but he had been handed back a test with a B on it and spent the night agonizing over it, emailing his professor for a redo and studying like crazy.

The kegster going on downstairs didn't help. He and Holster had planned it weeks in advance but Ransom couldn't even begin to think about going downstairs. Earlier in the day Holster helped load the kegs and the rest of the alcohol into the Haus before saying he wasn't going to make it, that he was staying across the street.

Sure, Ransom felt a little off when Holster said that because what kind of respectable party didn't have Adam Birkholtz in attendance, but he wasn't feeling bitter and jealous and upset. Not until he was holed up alone in their room with an anxiety attack rising in his chest.

It wasn't reasonable to be jealous. It was casual sex, Holster said so. That didn't stop Ransom from thinking about how Holster didn't want him, how could anyone want him with a B in his concentrated field of study.

Ransom knew he should call someone, his mother or Althea or Ife or Samantha. He could call March. The problem was that he wanted to call Holster and he couldn't. It wouldn't be fair to call him every time something went wrong, to expect him to ditch his date for him.

A door opened and closed somewhere in the distance. Ransom, with his head buried in his hands, didn't know it was his door until Holster sat next to him on the bed. Not touching.

“Hey, Rans. Breathe, okay?”

It took an embarrassingly long time, but Ransom wound down. He focused on the sound of Holster's voice, the hand that found its way to his thigh when he stopped shaking. When he finally looked up he saw Holster's wide blue eyes looking at him. He also saw fresh hickies on display and untamed sex hair, but he focused on the red Samwell hoodie that always looked so good on Holster. He focused on the frameless glasses sliding down his nose.

“Hey, man. Welcome back. Nursey said you were acting off today.”

Ransom shrugged. He was tired, worn out.“Don't worry about it. Just a test thing.”

The thing about being so close to another person is that nothing could be a secret. Holster knew Ransom's every tell, the change in the cadence of his voice. Ransom knew immediately that Holster knew he wasn't telling the whole truth.

“Bro what's up?”

“It's just been a day, you know? I got a B on a test and freaked myself out. I came up here because I couldn't think about anything else and then got so worked up and you weren't here to help so I thought about calling, but I didn't want to drag you away from your date.” With everything out in the open Ransom felt himself deflate. He just let go which unfortunately meant that he started to tear up. Within seconds Holster's arms were around him, grounding all of his floating parts. He laughed lightly. “And then you showed up anyway.”

“You know you can call me right? I don't care what I'm doing, who I'm with, you are my number one. I'll come running every time.”

“You should think about yourself first sometimes,” Ransom said. He didn't want to say something about how he shouldn't be so dependent on Holster because the first and last time he did there had been a lecture and powerpoint on why that was bullshit.

“I don't, and nothing is more important to me than you. What's best for me is for you to be okay. Always.”

“I love you.”

It needed to be said. There was just too many emotions fighting for a place in Ransom's chest and he just needed to say it.

“I know. I love you, too.”

* * *

One hour ago if someone asked Ransom what he would change about the world he would fix world poverty or sickness or give everyone universal healthcare.

Five minutes ago Ransom would ensure that nothing ever made Holster look the way he did when he entered the Haus, tired and drained. He shuffled in and didn't acknowledge that anyone else was in the room, he just walked straight up the stairs, head down.

Bitty and Lardo exchanged glances from their spot near the couch before looking to Ransom for answers he didn't have. He abandoned his Wii controller in favor of following Holster.

Ransom couldn't even begin preparing himself for the sight that greeted him in the attic. Holster had curled up on the bottom bunk, knees to his chest, Ransom's Samwell hoodie pulled over his head. It was a terribly sad sight, almost too much for Ransom to bear.

“Holtzy? What's wrong?”

The closer Ransom got the easier it was to see that Holster was shaking and making small, hurt noises. He didn't say anything so Ransom sat on the edge of the bed to wait him out. He couldn't resist patting his arm which caused the mild whimpering to evolve into full-blown sobbing.

Ransom's words were stuck in his throat. He had never in three years seen his best friend like this. It broke his heart that he had to see it at all. He tried his best to support Holster by leaning against his legs and rubbing his thumb against the same patch of skin on his arm.

Holster had been a touch grumpier lately, sharper with people than he needed to be. Ransom knew that sometimes Holster just couldn't stand the sound of other people's voices and needed a break, but this was nothing like that. Ransom wasn't going to pretend that he didn't know what was going on with Holster's family but it was best not to assume.

The whole room grew darker and Ransom knew the crick in his neck would probably turn into a tension headache but Holster had stopped shaking. His sobbing turned into sniffling.

“You ready to talk?” Ransom asked.

Holster's chest heaved with a few aborted attempts to talk before he managed words. His voice was hoarse and rough. “It's my dad,” he said.

If any three words could strike fear into Ransom's heart it would be those.

“Oh, Adam.”

“I wasn't even _there,_ Rans. I didn't get to—“ Holster couldn't manage anything more before he devolved back into tears.

Ransom pushed Holster's knees down and crawled properly into the bed. He pulled Holster's head down to his chest and held him, already wording an email to his professors about why he'd be missing class. Missing even one lesson so late into the semester would normally send him into a fit—and he would probably have a hell of a workload when he got back from Buffalo—but Ransom would suffer through the all-nighters for Holster.

* * *

Being friends with Holster shed light on a side of him that no one else got to see. He hated beer, he created a whole different party persona, he tiptoed when Ransom was having a bad day.

No one else got to see Holster simplified.

The lack of a performance was usually an honor to be shown but today the passenger seat of the car might as well have been empty. Holster hadn't said a word since a whispered _thank you_ when Ransom made his coffee. He had leaned against the door and Ransom would have thought he was asleep if not for the occasional shifting of his legs.

There was a touch of intimacy to the silence, to Holster trusting Ransom with the most fragile pieces of himself.

Five minutes away from Holster's childhood home Ransom couldn't stop himself from reaching for his hand. For the first time in hours Holster pulled away from the door to curl around the center console, cradling his and Ransom's hands to his chest.

Holster's childhood home was nothing special, a decent sized house with a decent sized yard in a decent suburban neighborhood. Samantha, Holster's oldest sister, stepped out into the yard in a smart button up and slacks, looking like if she slouched even a bit her perfectly tailored clothes would bust at the seams. Despite that she pulled Holster down to her for a hug as he stepped out of the car. When Ransom was within reach she grabbed him too.

“How you hanging, kid?”

Holster shrugged. “How's ma?” he asked.

The sound of Holster's voice was a weight off Ransom's shoulders.

Samantha straightened up, her clothes miraculously still tightly in place. “She's been very practical about everything. She won't let anyone else make the arrangements.”

“I'll talk to her.”

Samantha turned to Ransom as he watched Holster walk away. “Walk with me Justin.”

They walked down the sidewalk in silence for a while. Samantha rivaled her brother for the loudest Birkholtz child and for her to be as silent as he had been was unnerving. Ransom gave her time and space, watching the leaves on the trees flutter in the wind.

“There are so many things I want to say but I just don't know where to start.”

“Don't worry about how it sounds, just say what you need,” Ransom said.

Samantha smiled. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

“First, thank you for taking the time to come down. You're Adam's best friend but you're also family to us all so it means a lot. Second, I just—please take care of him. I know you take care of each other but he doesn't break down all the time.”

“Can I be honest with you, Sam?”

“Of course.”

“I love him so much,” Ransom said. He put as much emotion into his words as he possibly could. He needed Sam to understand that he wasn't going anywhere. “There is nothing I wouldn't do for him, so please don't worry.”

Sam smiled again, brighter. “He's my baby brother, I'll always worry. Maybe less so when you're with him.”

With that they round back to the house.

* * *

The funeral was a quaint thing. Holster stayed in the back by the doors never straying far from either Ransom or his sisters. Rebecca and Anna had flown in from California early that morning and took turns flitting between the front of the room and the back.

The most distressing part wasn't when everyone started crying during the service or when they were throwing roses into the ground, but the sagging weight of Holster draped over Ransom the day after. They were back at Samwell and Ransom started on his homework with a silent Holster leaning heavily against his shoulder.

“Sit up for a second,” Ransom said.

Maneuvering Holster was no small task when he didn't seem to be in control of his own limbs. With a minor bit of struggling Holster laid with his head in Ransom's lap and his feet hanging off the edge of the bed.

Three assignments later Ransom felt like he had done enough to warrant a break so he pushed his textbook off the bed. He situated himself on the bed so he and Holster were laying down face to face. He stroked a hand through Holster's hair.

“Sam said you told her you love me,” Holster said. It had been so long since he started a conversation that Ransom startled at the sound of his voice.

“Well I do.”

“Good.”

Holster tucked himself into Ransom's chest.

If there was ever a moment where Ransom wanted to rip their agreement to metaphorical shreds it would be right then. He'd kiss every inch of Holster's face and tell him how loved he was over and over until there was no room for doubt. Instead he played with Holster's hair as he fell asleep and made a mental note to cancel the week's date night with March.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to visit me on [my main blog](http://www.histrionicdaisy.tumblr.com) or my[Check, Please sideblog](http://www.holsomblues.tumblr.com.).
> 
> Comments, kudos, and messages make the world go 'round!


	3. escape from the city and follow the sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leading up to and slightly past graduation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 of 3! This may be choppy and the reason for that is because a) I didn't exactly plan the ending, b) I've got a lot of other projects I'm trying to push, and c) this has been sitting for long enough and I owe it to myself to finish something and to you all who would like to see it wrapped up already. I hope it isn't too terribly awkward.
> 
> The title of this chapter comes from Ready to Run by One Direction. I didn't plan to have all the chapter titles come from One Direction songs but don't you think Holster would be proud of me?
> 
> I hope you guys have enjoyed the ride! I love and appreciate all the comments and I love and appreciate all of you!

In Holster's mind, graduation couldn't come soon enough. That, however, didn't mean the whole ordeal wasn't a little bittersweet. Bitty and the frogs and the tadpoles would be all alone, leaving the upperclassmen to spread their wings into adulthood. Lardo, Ransom, and Holster had all made plans to move to Boston in the summer and it was more than a little terrifying.

Holster's custom-made _High School Musical_ calendar hanging above the desk in the attic had far too many markings and [addendums]; blue marker for game days and red for tests, orange for emergencies and necessities, green for anything that wasn't a priority. There had never been a splash of purple until now, a smiley face adorning the entire white square that represented graduation day. Every morning while Ransom shuffled his way to the bathroom Holster would drag himself out of bed to press a little kiss to the smiley face before starting his day. It was stupid and sappy but it twisted something in the pit of Holster's belly in the warmest of ways.

Most days there was a taste of anticipation in the air. Whenever the topic of graduation came up the room went silent. Everyone froze in their seats and waited for someone to diffuse the tension but Holster and Ransom would sneak glances at each other or knock their knees together every time, giving each other a wave of casual reassurance that everything would be okay, that they were in this together.

Then there were the nights where Ransom worked himself into a rut, no longer able to take in any information. On those nights Holster would point out that he had already been accepted into med school, that the two of them were moving to Boston regardless, that their future was definite. He never brought it up in such bold words though. It was always “think of Boston” or “we've got all the time in the world”. Putting the added stress of their pending relationship on Ransom's shoulders wasn't something Holster could bear to do.

Holster didn't worry so much these days. He was so close to getting everything he'd ever wanted. The hockey season had tied up nicely with a Frozen Four championship title that effectively put Samwell Men's Hockey back on the radar. That in and of itself had relieved major pressure from Holster's shoulders and no doubt Ransom's as well.

Holster counted the remaining days until graduation every morning, repeating it like a mantra again and again.

* * *

“So, March. Graduation's coming up.”

Ransom winced at the awkward tone of his voice. March had her head on his chest, drawing idle patterns on his skin. They had both been too stressed out for each other lately. Too few hours in the day and too many priorities for even a quickie. Tonight though, they had carved out a time and a place for a night together.

“It is? I didn't notice,” March said. Her humor was just what Ransom needed but it also made what he needed to say so much harder.

“I was just wondering if this should be, you know, the last time.”

March looked up, nothing on her face betraying her emotions. Ransom knew he shouldn't, but he compared her to Holster, who was like an open book. It wasn't fair to March but with the end of the year drawing close Ransom found himself comparing _everyone_ to Holster.

“Do you want it to be the last time?” March asked.

Ransom didn't have to think as hard as he pretended to. There was less than a month until he graduated and he had been thinking about Holster since New Year's Day. There was something different about the time he spent with the Birkholtz family in Buffalo. Something settling. Like everyone knew he'd be coming around for the holidays for the rest of his life.

“I do.”

“Okay,” March said.

“You're not mad?”

March shrugged. “I knew what I was getting into from day one. I can't say I won't miss this but there's a difference between what you and I have and what you and Adam have. I understand. I always have.”

“I'll miss this too,” Ransom said. He swallowed around the lump in his throat. He thought he loved March in every way there was to love another person, but she was right. There was just something _else_ with Holster that he'd never been able to find with March.

“Even when you're having hot, steamy sex with your fiance who happens to be hung like a horse?”

Ransom laughed, twining his arms around March's bare shoulders. He pressed his cheek into her hair. “Adam and I may very well spend the rest of our lives together but I'm not going to propose so soon. I'm going to wait at least three months like a _gentleman._ Also why do you know how well endowed my future husband is?”

“One, he got shit faced one night and April had to help him out of his pants. Girls tell each other everything. Two, he walks around my apartment in a tiny silk robe and his underwear. Three, you babble when you're drunk and every time you come back from the holidays or summer break _you_ tell me everything the two of you got up to. _”_

March laughed and curled into Ransom's side when he groaned.

“We'll stay in touch, right?” Ransom asked.

March stroked his arm. “Of course.”

Ransom drifted off to sleep to the smell of March's shampoo, grateful that he'd managed to find two people in the whole world who knew him so well.

* * *

Ransom announced his break up with March when he walked through the door the next morning, prompting Holster to drop his Wii controller. Ransom grinned and perched himself on the back of the couch like he'd seen Lardo do so many times. He sat on the opposite end from Holster, leaving two of three frogs between them.

“That sucks,” Dex said. He paused the game but only after his character knocked Nursey's off a floating platform.

Ransom shrugged. “We both knew it wasn't really going anywhere after college.”

Holster didn't know if grinning was inappropriate. Rans and March had really clicked and deep down he was always a little worried he'd end up the odd man out. He was about to offer his condolences but Ransom beat him to the chase, stopping the words in Holster's throat.

“Besides, I've kind of had my eye on someone since freshman year.”

Dex raised an eyebrow.

“Who?” Nursey asked.

Ransom winked. “You'll see.”

* * *

“Hey, it's Adam right?”

Holster looked up to see a guy with shaggy brown hair and so many freckles. He'd never talked to the guy outside of class but surely they'd been acquaintances long enough for him not to have to ask about his name.

“Jake, man, what's up?”

Jake looked adorably shy as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I just wanted to know if you wanted to grab dinner tonight?”

Holster winced. “Sorry, man. It's the end of the year and I kind of don't want to leave any loose strings, you know?”

“Well—well what if there weren't any strings to begin with?”

Nursey, who was sitting beside Holster, snorted so hard his drink came out of his nose. Holster briefly hoped it wasn't coffee.

“Sorry, bro. No hard feelings?”

Jake ducked his head. “Yeah, no hard feelings. I guess I left things a little late, huh?”

“Kind of.”

“Good luck with graduating, then.”

“Yeah, you too.”

Nursey waited until Jake was out of earshot before he said, “Damn, dude. You've been rejecting people all semester.”

Holster shrugged, making eye contact with Ransom across the table. “I just feel more like an adult, I guess. Ready to settle down and shit.”

It was Ransom's turn to choke on his drink.

Holster smiled and Ransom grinned back. Even with strawberry soda coming out of his nose the effect of his smile was not lost on Holster.

* * *

The night before graduation was somewhat bittersweet. Usually the team threw a kegster but everyone opted for a quiet night in. Holster and Ransom and Lardo were leaving, Bitty would be captain. Nursey and Dex would be the d-man duo to rave about.

The night started with pizza and popcorn and devolved into eating pie right out of the pie plate with forks and talking about the good old days.

Lardo told the story of the first time she met Ransom and Holster. She couldn't tell them apart for weeks afterward and didn't want to say anything. Bitty teared up in the middle of telling them they were two of his best friends. Shitty and Jack had come down for the occasion, each telling a story about how kickass Lardo was.

Holster stood up, beer can raised high. “The first time I met Larissa Duan she nearly punched my lights out. For weeks after that I used up every short joke in my repertoire. Now here we are, crying, embracing each other. Making brunch plans in Boston like adults.”

Lardo laughed and raised her own drink to toast him right back.

Holster's face softened as he turned to Ransom.“The first time I met Rans, my other half, the gun to my holster—don't throw that at me, asshole—the first time I met him I knew that he was going to be my best friend for the rest of my life. I can't even fathom not talking to him every day. Here's to the future and shit, buddy.”

Ransom laughed, rubbing the corners of his eyes. Holster chugged the rest of his beer and sat back in his spot across the room, entirely too far away. Still, Ransom could feel the weight of Holster's gaze as he stood up for his own toast.

“The first time I met Lardo I was terrified of her,” Ransom said. “She was fierce and strong and made even Holster think twice about calling her small. He still did it, but he thought twice. We all know how much of a miracle that is.” Ransom wrapped an arm around the girl's shoulders. “I'm always just a call away.”

Lardo slapped him playfully on the chest and shoved him off her with a smile.

“As for Holster, the second he opened his dumb mouth I knew I was fucked. Of all people in the world to be my best friend and it was this overgrown puppy of a man. Luckily, you won't have to go without talking to me every day because we are getting an apartment and a dog and you have to support me financially at least throughout med school.”

“I wouldn't have it any other way,” Holster said.

Everyone cheered and threw their empty beer cans into the air. It was clear no one wanted to leave even after the clock hit past midnight. Bitty and Jack curled up in the only armchair in the room, Lardo and Shitty fell asleep at the coffee table. The frogs and tadpoles were still awake but only barely, heads lolling to the side as they kicked each other in the ankles.

Wordlessly Holster and Ransom stood up and navigated around their friends to the stairs. They climbed up to the attic and undressed all in complete silence. Holster sat on the edge of his bed, watching as Ransom stripped to his underwear.

“Hey, Rans?”

“Yeah?”

“Sleep down here with me. As a preventative measure. For, you know, the ghosts.”

There was a flutter of something in Ransom's chest. It felt like he was back in Niagara with Holster for the first time.

“There aren't any damn ghosts,” Ransom said, making his way to the bed.

They curled up on their sides, facing each other in the darkness. Ransom watched as Holster raised a hand to brush his fingers against Ransom's temple.

“Do we have to wait until tomorrow?” Holster whispered. “We technically made it, there's noth—“

Ransom leaned in, silencing Holster with a kiss. It felt like coming home. Holster wasted no time in kissing back, slow, weighted. He tasted like warm beer and popcorn. His hand curled around the back of Ransom's neck, drawing him in deep.

Ransom surfaced for a breath, pressing impossibly closer to Holster. “We're graduating tomorrow,” he said, voice a whisper.

“Yeah. Nervous?”

“Aren't you?”

“A little,” Holster admitted. He traced his fingertips over Ransom's eyebrow, his cheek, his jaw. “But the way I see it is like this: you and I graduate tomorrow and go out to eat with our parents, we pack up my car and hit my place first, your place second. We stop in Niagara for Canada Day and the Fourth of July. By that time we can move into the apartment we have on hold. You start prepping for med school and Shitty knows a guy who can get me a job. From there on out we're on the fast track to forever.”

Ransom was touched by Holster's words up until the very end. He muffled his giggles into Holster's neck. “Have you been talking to Nursey again?”

“What?”

“ _Fast track to forever?”_

“Fuck you, Justin. I bare my heart and soul for you, I soothe your worries and tell you upfront what I want, and you _chirp me_?”

Ransom kissed the corner of Holster's mouth, the tip of his nose. “Well it was lame, but don't worry. I still think it's sweet.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, you looooooove me.”

Holster sighed. “I do.”

Ransom blinked. It wasn't anything new. Or maybe it was, the casual way they could say it now.

“I love you, too.”

“Save it for after graduation, buster.”

Ransom groaned. “I take it back.”

“Nuh-uh, no takesies-backsies. You love me and you want to live with me forever and have my babies.”

“I do.”

“That's kind of gay, Rans.”

“Shut the fuck up, _we're_ kind of gay.”

Ransom leaned in for another kiss before Holster could reply with something equally lame. They kissed for only a minute but Ransom wasn't the slightest bit disappointed when Holster whispered goodnight and fell asleep with Ransom wrapped tight in his arms.

* * *

Holster slashed a line through the graduation square. He bounded across the hall to the bathroom where he knew Ransom would be, pulling the door open and kissing him right on the mouth with no regard for the toothbrush between his lips. When he pulled back he let his hands fall to Ransom's hips. “Good morning beautiful.”

“Here we go,” Ransom said with a hint of exasperation and a smile.

“You signed up for this baby.”

“I suppose I did.”

Holster brushed his teeth quickly and kissed Ransom again and again before he made it out of the bathroom and down the stairs. There was no way he'd have stopped if Ransom hadn't started pinching him because he needed to get ready.

“Good morning my lovely friends,” Holster said, making a beeline for the coffee maker.

Everyone at the table looked shocked. They stared at Holster with raised eyebrows and skeptical looks. He wondered briefly if he should have put pants on before coming down to breakfast.

“You okay, Holster?” Bitty asked. “You're more chipper than you usually are in the mornings.”

Holster bent down to sweep Bitty into a hug, twirling him around for good measure.

“Oh my dearest Bits, I am wonderful. Perfectly brilliant.”

Bitty smiled, still clearly uncertain.

“Well sit down Mr. Perfectly Brilliant, waffles are almost ready.”

Dex had been enlisted to help with waffles. All he had to do was sit on the kitchen counter and pour batter into the waffle iron but he treated the task with the same focus he did everything. Nursey, who had been trying to fall back asleep with his head on Dex's shoulder, had been poked and prodded relentlessly until he let Dex do his job.

Ransom came down the stairs not too long after, freshly shaven and sharply dressed. His eyes twinkled as he caught Holster's gaze, giving him a questioning look. In lieu of a reply Holster shot out of his seat and pulled Ransom into a kiss too enthusiastic for so early in the morning. Ransom kissed back without hesitation, leaning just a little with the strength of the kiss.

“Oh my,” Bitty said behind them.

The rest of the team whooped and hollered, all of them suddenly as equally excited as the boys.

“I think we missed something, Jack,” Shitty said as the two of them walked into the kitchen.

“I thought they were dating already,” Jack said.

Holster pulled away from Ransom, pecking his lips only twice more before sitting down at the table again, a blush high on his cheeks.

“Deets, man,” Lardo said.

“It's a long story,” Holster said.

“I don't care. Deets.”

Holster dished out the story about kissing in their freshman year, about the slow realization, about Niagara and the holidays they spent together.

“I can't believe you two made a fucking _contract_ ,” Lardo said.

Holster shrugged. Looking back it did sound a little ridiculous, like the kind of thing only they would do. Holster just couldn't imagine it any other way.

“Well congrats, boys,” Bitty said. He and Jack were all wrapped up next to the stove looking happy for them. Holster used to envy them and their affection but now he understood. All he wanted was to be close to Ransom.

After breakfast everyone separated to shower and get dressed. Ransom and Holster were relatively quiet as they went about getting ready, the excited buzz of the morning having faded. Neither of them could stop smiling, though. Every time Holster turned around Ransom was grinning just as big and bright as he was himself.

Ransom caught Holster's arm on his way out the door. “Let me fix your tie,” he said.

Ransom's knuckles brushed Holster's throat as he knotted the tie. Holster leaned in and pressed the lightest of kisses on Ransom's lips.

“Ready?” Ransom asked.

Holster nodded, lacing their fingers together. “Ready.”

* * *

After the ceremony Ransom and Holster did their rounds of goodbyes, promising to call and Skype and visit when they could. It was harder than Ransom thought, walking away from the boys.

Ransom's family met up with them first, enveloping the boys in crushing hugs. Holster's mom and sisters weren't far behind. This was the first time the families had met in person meaning there was plenty of enthusiastic hand shaking and congratulations, plenty of Ransom and Holster being doted on by the other's family.

With both families helping Holster's car had been packed in under an hour leaving nothing for them to do but drive to Jerry's. The families had no problem squishing together in the booth but Ransom and Holster had to bring chairs to the end of the table to fit everyone.

Neither Ransom nor Holster doubted that their families would get along but it was still nice to see it in action. Unsurprisingly, their sisters got along fabulously. The girls traded embarrassing stories about their brothers while their parents asked about their plans for the millionth time.

With everyone's plates cleared away and their coffees almost finished there was only on thing left to do. Ransom took the initiative and cleared his throat.

“Everyone, Adam and I have something we'd like to say.” All the attention was on them now. It was a little unnerving to have two very loud families fall into complete silence. As if sensing Ransom's uneasiness Holster took his hand and held it above the table, swiping his thumb back and forth in soothing motions.

Ransom couldn't keep the smile from his face when he said, “We're dating.”

Unlike when Jack and Bitty revealed that they were dating the reaction was loud and instantaneous. Samantha leaned out of the booth to wrap her arms around the two, Mrs Birkholtz had the biggest smile on her face that could only be rivaled by Mr Oluransi's.

Ransom's mother squinted in their direction. “Have you been dating all this time?”

“No, ma'am,” Holster said. If Ransom knew one thing for sure it warmed his heart to see Holster at ease with his family. “We tried in freshman year but we decided it was best to wait until after graduation so we didn't mess everything up.”

Mrs Oluransi watched them carefully for a moment before breaking into a smile herself. “Smart boys.”

“So where are you two getting married?” Althea asked as if they had just announced their engagement.

“We haven't talked much about it but I like the idea of getting married in Niagara Falls,” Ransom said. At the same time Holster said, “Niagara Falls.”

There was a moment of silence before everyone at the table started laughing. Ransom and Holster, however, only had eyes for each other.

Once the doors of Holster's car closed around them twenty minutes later the rest of the world faded away. Ransom's heart beat furiously in his chest as Holster took his hand before he even started the car.

“Ready?” Holster asked.

Ransom could see the open road ahead of them. He could see the family trips, coming home to Holster at the end of a long day, the incredible sex they were going to have all over their new apartment. He stopped that train of thought before he started thinking of names for puppies and babies but only barely. He squeezed Holster's hand and leaned in for a kiss.

“Ready.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENTS and KUDOS make a writer smile :)
> 
> Come visit me on my [OMGCP sideblog](http://www.holsomblues.tumblr.com) or [my main blog](http://www.histrionicdaisy.tumblr.com). I'm always down for talking about these nerds and anything else.

**Author's Note:**

> *Mama Oluransi may seem a bit forward but if you've never been Adam in this situation then you really don't understand how demanding your best friend's parents can be.  
> *Yes! Holster is Jewish! His family is generally laid back in terms of strict practices with the exception of Hanukkah and Passover.  
> *The three languages the Oluransi family speaks are English, French, and Yoruba though only the older family members are the only ones to speak the latter fluently.  
> *If you're coming back for a re-read I _have_ changed two of Ransom's sister's names due to Ngozi's tweets from January.
> 
> Comments go a long way! Visit me on [tumblr](https://www.histrionicdaisy.tumblr.com) I now have a Check, Please! sideblog [right here](https://www.holsomblues.tumblr.com)


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